“Cancer left me infertile - so my cousin became my surrogate” says Bedford mum

Steffi Goodwin, 31, was diagnosed with an aggressive blood cancer at the age of 11 – and would not be alive if it wasn’t for her younger brother, Royce, then nine, who stepped in to donate his bone marrow.

The treatment saved Steffi’s life, but at the same time, left her infertile.

She managed to conceive twice by IVF, but lost both babies, and so her cousin, Kelly Goodwin, 36, stepped up to be her surrogate.

Theo, three, was born in March 2022, and Steffi now "relishes" life as a new mother.

She, alongside her tot, is raising awareness to help other families who are experiencing loss and infertility.

Steffi, a hairdresser from Bedford, said: "I am entirely grateful to my family. My brother saved my life and my cousin allowed me to become a mother. Without their sacrifices, me and my baby wouldn't be here.

"It's a dream come true to be called mummy every day – and I couldn't be happier."

Steffi was cycling back home in August 2005 when she noticed it took her longer than usual to catch her breath.

The following day, she started developing a "consistent cough" and was taken to the doctors.

Finding fluid in her lungs, the GP referred her to the hospital, where further tests diagnosed the then 11-year-old with acute lymphoblastic leukaemia, an aggressive blood cancer, as well as a tumour, the size of a rugby ball, in her chest.

"At first, the doctors thought I had pneumonia and that it wasn't too serious," Steffi said.

"But when they scanned for the leukemia in the chest and described to me the rugby ball-sized tumour, I was terrified."

Steffi was given a five per cent chance of survival - and because the tumour was so close to major organs such as her heart and lungs, she could not have surgery – so doctors started her on chemotherapy straight away.

"I thought I was going to die," she added.

The cancer soon spread to 95 per cent of her bone marrow, and Steffi wasn't taking too well to the treatment, dropping from six to two stone in two weeks.

At one point, she described how her "family came in to say goodbye."

It was then that the doctors suggested a bone marrow transplant.

Steffi said: "The doctors tested four of my siblings for my transplant, and thankfully, Royce came back as a match. He said he would donate to me, and the doctors explained that it was my only chance of survival."

In April 2006, Steffi and her younger brother, Royce, now 28, then nine, underwent the transplant at Bristol Children’s Hospital, and a month later Steffi had the news that she was in remission.

Steffi said: "The recovery was difficult; I was forced to isolate for around seven months as I could catch infections. But to get the news I was in remission was the best thing.

"It just left a hole in my heart knowing that I would never be able to conceive," she said.

Iin 2015, Steffi met her partner, Jacob Joseph-Hakin, 31, a quantity surveyor, through Facebook.

The couple decided to try to have a family through IVF, as the chemotherapy had damaged her ovaries.

Steffi received NHS approval for IVF in August 2018, and they started treatment using a donated egg the following November.

The implant was a success and two weeks later, Steffi was pregnant for the first time.

“Seeing that positive pregnancy test was the best feeling," Steffi said.

"I couldn't believe it was actually happening and I went around showing everyone.

Steffi added: "We made it to the 20-week scan and we couldn’t wait to see our baby.”

However, the couple were told that their baby was very small for 20 weeks and Steffi was referred to a specialist.

A scan at 24 weeks, in August 2019, showed the crushing news that their baby daughter had no heartbeat.

"I was devastated," Steffi said.

"To feel the heartbeat, there was that glimmer of hope, and I thought I was going to prove the doctors wrong."

The Bedford pair tried IVF again and, in July 2020, Steffi was pregnant once more. But at 19 weeks, her waters broke due to a short cervix, and her second baby was stillborn.

"To lose two babies within 15 months was excruciating; it was a really difficult time," she added.

"We couldn't go through IVF for another loss again, so I started seeking advice from specialists about other options."

That's when Steffi's cousin, Kelly, offered to be her surrogate through a text message one evening.

"I was completely thrown back at the offer and at first didn't think she was serious," Steffi said.

"There was a lot of emotion and I never would have expected it. The offer meant everything to me."

The pair went to the fertility clinic and Kelly, who has three children, was given the go-ahead.

In July 2021, she had the couple’s embryo put into her womb, and two weeks later, she "screamed down the phone" and gave them the news that they had always hoped for – that she was pregnant.

Steffi said: "It felt incredibly surreal and the fact that it was my cousin meant I could be there with her the entire time.

"I attended every scan and appointment with her and never felt like I was in her pocket."

Kelly had a planned c-section on March 25, 2022, and the couple stood beside Kelly as their little boy, Theo, now three, was delivered into the world, weighing a healthy 7lbs and 6oz.

"When I heard the cry, it was the best sound," she said.

"I grabbed him straightaway to put him on my chest so we could do skin-to-skin contact and I was finally a mum.

"He's grown up to be such a lovely boy and we appreciate every milestone we have with him.

"I couldn't thank my brother and cousin enough for the sacrifices they've made.

"I am super grateful to be called mummy every day – and I hope I can prove to others with infertility that it is possible.

"Our little boy is the best gift we could have ever asked for."