And not least an attractive, sharp, witty lady...
That’s the scenario facing hundreds of women around town this Sunday evening, but it’s not quite as bad as it sounds; now when the lady in question is Katherine Ryan, and the venue is MK Theatre.
Yup, the Canadian with the razor-sharp wit is returning to the city with her new show, Kathbum.
“This show is pretty honest; I might take some liberties, but comedians do the opposite from politicians,” she explains.
“Politicians will tell the truths that if you see them written down in a newspaper seem to be true, but the bigger picture is an entire lie.
“Comedians will tell tiny lies while the big picture is hopefully more truthful.
“I’ll change bits of stories and names so that a story about my dad is actually about my uncle and a story about that boyfriend is actually about this boyfriend.”
Did you get that, folks?
Ruminations on our celebrity culture obsession get a look-in too, and she will discuss Taylor Swift, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini (formerly Cole, once Tweedy) and Peter Andre.
“A lot of my celebrity material is looking at the meta narrative and at what’s happening behind the scenes,” she explains.
“With many reality TV stars, their weight is 100% engineered.
“They start to get a bit fat because they’re on TV shows where they’re paid to get drunk and fight, then the managers arrange for photos to be taken of their star on the beach wearing a pink bikini and eating a McDonald’s. “And then their trainer helps them lose weight so they can flog the book and DVD and fashion line.
“It’s happened so many times with the girls on Geordie Shore and Big Brother.
“That’s what entertains me: you can put on this puppet show and people don’t seem to notice.”
Ain’t that the truth?
Kathbum might be the last you see of Miss Ryan in the live for a while though.
A panel show familiar, Katherine says her face is beginning to annoy people, and besides, she has two sitcoms to get off the ground,
But for the moment, the live stage is getting her undivided attention: “Comedy is a conversation and you can’t do that on panel shows.
“You have to get out there and go on tour and it makes you better as a comic.”
The show is suitable for over 14’s and show time is 8pm.
From Monday, the dressing room will be occupied by Derren Brown, the self-styled psychological illusionist.
Back on our stage in response to phenomenal demand, Derren is bringing his show Miracle to the venue, following on from his 2013 sell-out run when he wowed one and all with Infamous.
Miraclehas already left West End audience s befuddled and bemused, and that’s how you’ll be left too.
How does he do it?
His craft is a closely guarded secret, of course, although Derren is honestly dishonest.
Or something like that...
“I am often dishonest in my techniques but I’m always honest about my dishonesty,” he says.
Miracle has been adorned with five star ratings from the critics, and now it’s your turn to be dazzled and delighted before leaving the show doing that head-scratching thing!
To book tickets for Derren, or to see Katherine raise the funnies, put a call in to the box office on 0844 871 7652 or visit www.atgtickets.com/miltonkeynes